Just yesterday, I was on leave. It was a refreshment from doing my routine. I was able to do things that I otherwise couldn't have done if I didn't force myself to have the luxury of taking my leave from work.
First day, I dozed off... read a lot of articles, and just been lazy. :).... My old self would have thought it a waste of time, but this time, I allowed myself that. :D
Second Day, although I promised myself that I'd be a good girl and make my planned tasks, I slacked off. Then went to videoke with sister and her friend... It was a total waste of time and money... but the joy was worth it afterwards. Some guilty pleasures but I had an enjoyable evening... :D
Third day was a Sunday... I went to mass early, and karaoke-d the whole night away...haha! Life was still fun... :)
and finally the Fourth day, I tried to finally function. I was able to post my online portfolio and send resumes... indeed.... the journey of looking at my old works was profitable for me. I was reminded of how good I am... I used to shun "rest" from my agenda, but now, I think people definitely need it to refresh themselves with newer ideas... from now on, I will allow myself some creative solitary pace.... :)
Monday, October 18, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I lost cool... and I instantly felt bad about it...
I know I needed to tame my temper. And because I lost my cool, I am feeling really bad about it. I know I didn't have an excuse, but I do try to become a nice person.... because THAT is an achievement.
There are just so many confusing things that people throw at me. I am used to being a loner. People only shake their heads in exasperation everytime I tell them my ideas. They don't take me seriously. So everything I did, so long as I wanted to do it, I put my heart and soul into it, not being bothered if people see me as weird or whatever.
But lately, people started noticing my work... it's hard for me to believe it, but they do. I am not so used to the attention, so it's so new to me. It felt weird since they could not really relate to me, but I somehow felt happy, and slowly I started to feel that my existence have some purpose. It's nice to be recognized and to somehow belong. I always knew I am good. But never did I allow it to enter my head.
But lo and behold, I am quite shocked because the other day, an unidentified person sent me a hate message in one of the social networks I frequented. He/she was bitter of the fact that I didn't approve his/her friend request. The letter told me of how arrogant I have become just because I am now somebody... which was absurd!
I never thought of myself as SOMEBODY! I am just like everyone else...
The person continued with angry words in the letter saying that I close my doors to the people like him/her. It's so annoying... from those words, I realized that he/she is holding whatever I have accomplished against me.
What I am now (whatever I am in his/her eyes), I am sure it's the fruit of my labors and self-discipline. I am sure a lot of people will not want to be like me, if they just know what forged me to be the person I am now. They will give up on the sleepless nights I endured, the mockeries I heard, and the ridicule of my dreams. All the uncertainties in life were thrown at me. And it's not so easy. That is why, whoever he/she is... I got angry and hurt... I lost my cool, but I deeply regret it instantly. But I hope people will realize, that instead of envying other people, they should stop and think about the difficulties I have undergone. That behind the smile, there were lots of tears that were shed. I am what I am because of that.
And to that person, all the best of luck. Hope your mind will be enlightened someday.
There are just so many confusing things that people throw at me. I am used to being a loner. People only shake their heads in exasperation everytime I tell them my ideas. They don't take me seriously. So everything I did, so long as I wanted to do it, I put my heart and soul into it, not being bothered if people see me as weird or whatever.
But lately, people started noticing my work... it's hard for me to believe it, but they do. I am not so used to the attention, so it's so new to me. It felt weird since they could not really relate to me, but I somehow felt happy, and slowly I started to feel that my existence have some purpose. It's nice to be recognized and to somehow belong. I always knew I am good. But never did I allow it to enter my head.
But lo and behold, I am quite shocked because the other day, an unidentified person sent me a hate message in one of the social networks I frequented. He/she was bitter of the fact that I didn't approve his/her friend request. The letter told me of how arrogant I have become just because I am now somebody... which was absurd!
I never thought of myself as SOMEBODY! I am just like everyone else...
The person continued with angry words in the letter saying that I close my doors to the people like him/her. It's so annoying... from those words, I realized that he/she is holding whatever I have accomplished against me.
What I am now (whatever I am in his/her eyes), I am sure it's the fruit of my labors and self-discipline. I am sure a lot of people will not want to be like me, if they just know what forged me to be the person I am now. They will give up on the sleepless nights I endured, the mockeries I heard, and the ridicule of my dreams. All the uncertainties in life were thrown at me. And it's not so easy. That is why, whoever he/she is... I got angry and hurt... I lost my cool, but I deeply regret it instantly. But I hope people will realize, that instead of envying other people, they should stop and think about the difficulties I have undergone. That behind the smile, there were lots of tears that were shed. I am what I am because of that.
And to that person, all the best of luck. Hope your mind will be enlightened someday.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
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