After so many months of self study and soul searching, I finally realized what it is that I have been looking for in my life.
I am not in pursuit of playing God, nor wanting to be a terror boss. It's distasteful, wanting to prove to other people I am the best by constantly putting other people down.
Highlighting and magnifying other people's shortcomings won't make me the best that I can be, but it is the constant training and the discipline I inflict on myself that will make me eventually reach my goal. So looking at other people's lack of capabilities will not make me happier.
This world is full of miracles, that's me and you--- and anyone in this world who was created. No one has the right to label anybody as a no good. I cringe now when people say that about other people--- they are even proud and gloating when they tell me they called other people stupid.
I chose to be free of these false illusion of 'greatness', because at the end of the day, what people will remember about you is not the position you had when you lived in the world, but the ripple you made in making this world a little better.
I get a lot of raised eyebrows, everytime I say I want to be free of the restrictions of an office life---- other people preferred to believe that I was not able to get accepted in the office arena, other people think I am just lazy, or impractical even... I don't know. I guess I want to live my life. I want to constantly ponder about the things and find meaning in what happens to me....
The most important thing for me, and what I appreciate right now, is that I am constantly looking forward to my everyday blessings---- I am constantly asking God for so many things--- yeah, I can say that I always treasure my daily reflections and my realizations that there is a God who watches over me. I feel safer and happier---- I do get some misfortunes, but my faith only gets stronger with that.
I can now say--- I won't exchange this for anything else--- I live in constant adventure, and God's fidelity is constantly keeping up with my crooked pace.
I promise to shine my light and be the good representative of a Christian----
That is why, the world must not be my priority. Amen
