I haven't written in a long time because of a tragedy that struck me and my family in the early part of this year. But this Easter, we seemed to be the hallelujah people, as Pope John Paul II said "Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song"
It became so true in my case. Lent came early for us on the First Saturday of January. My brother died, all of a sudden, our world crumbled. I personally didn't know how to go on in this world anymore. I couldn't explain the loss, I couldn't explain how my emotions were--- there were too many things to process and even now, if I try to recall everything, I still feel that I will not be able to go on without breaking down.
We are in mourning ever since, and holy week was very evident to us. God seemed to be absent in our trial, our misery.... but no matter how I deny it, I came to a realization that I came to understand Christ's passion even more. I used to contemplate and meditate Christ's pain during lent before this year--- but I remained to be just a mere observer. But this year was different. My brother who I thought was doing nothing for God, have become my gateway to God's wisdom and work in my life. Through his death, I have come to know of God's faithfulness, His mercy, His thirst for souls.... I was humbled--- I thought I was the one who loved God and did more for God than anyone around me---- but on the contrary, I was only putting on a show. God knew me better than anyone, and in His grace--- he saved me from myself--- he saved me from my masks, my hatred, my unforgiving heart, my pride, my blindness. I was a mess, a filthy sinner.
Through my brother's death, I came to know more about God---- I used to know God in His justice, but now, I know God in His infinite mercy.... that is what I hold on to, because without God's Mercy, who can stand?
Holy week 2014 have been very meaningful to me.
Came Easter, my birthday. God gave me a gift, He had my aunt call my mom to tell her that she dreamt of my brother on Easter Vigil kneeling before a resurrected Christ. And he was wearing white and finally turned to my aunt and waved goodbye to follow Christ. It was something that greatly set me free---- my God is the God of the living, He has risen, and so will those who followed Him. Winning against death, Jesus will certainly be faithful to those who followed him.
God also made it happen that I get to see the relics of the greatest Pope that I look up to, the Pope who knew artists the best. I asked Pope John Paul II to guide us in the media.
It became so true in my case. Lent came early for us on the First Saturday of January. My brother died, all of a sudden, our world crumbled. I personally didn't know how to go on in this world anymore. I couldn't explain the loss, I couldn't explain how my emotions were--- there were too many things to process and even now, if I try to recall everything, I still feel that I will not be able to go on without breaking down.
We are in mourning ever since, and holy week was very evident to us. God seemed to be absent in our trial, our misery.... but no matter how I deny it, I came to a realization that I came to understand Christ's passion even more. I used to contemplate and meditate Christ's pain during lent before this year--- but I remained to be just a mere observer. But this year was different. My brother who I thought was doing nothing for God, have become my gateway to God's wisdom and work in my life. Through his death, I have come to know of God's faithfulness, His mercy, His thirst for souls.... I was humbled--- I thought I was the one who loved God and did more for God than anyone around me---- but on the contrary, I was only putting on a show. God knew me better than anyone, and in His grace--- he saved me from myself--- he saved me from my masks, my hatred, my unforgiving heart, my pride, my blindness. I was a mess, a filthy sinner.
Through my brother's death, I came to know more about God---- I used to know God in His justice, but now, I know God in His infinite mercy.... that is what I hold on to, because without God's Mercy, who can stand?
Holy week 2014 have been very meaningful to me.
Came Easter, my birthday. God gave me a gift, He had my aunt call my mom to tell her that she dreamt of my brother on Easter Vigil kneeling before a resurrected Christ. And he was wearing white and finally turned to my aunt and waved goodbye to follow Christ. It was something that greatly set me free---- my God is the God of the living, He has risen, and so will those who followed Him. Winning against death, Jesus will certainly be faithful to those who followed him.
God also made it happen that I get to see the relics of the greatest Pope that I look up to, the Pope who knew artists the best. I asked Pope John Paul II to guide us in the media.
Then Easter came, I went to two Masses to offer for atonement and for conversion. And in between Masses, God inspired the musicians to play a Happy Birthday song, it was so random--- no one there knew that it was my birthday because no one there knew me--- But God knew me. It made me smile, I disregarded my birthday to make way for the mother of celebrations which was His resurrection--- but He included me.
I am sold--- I am in love with the God who loves me. Who
disciplines me when I am in a mess---- it is a painful travel to stay faithful
to Him---- but I know it will be worth it. I sing my hallelujah--- with the new
hope and new life, which Easter represents--- I want to shine the light of
Christ in the world. Amen!
