White Collar Guy!

Those pretty eyes :)
I like his role in Chuck as a CIA agent. He was cool, but he had to be removed from the show because he was employed in a new tv series "White Collar".

Watching tv shows and catching up to the latest trend is my occupation lately. This is the only time I could veer my thoughts away from my busy schedule and I am forced to run my mind to new ideas. So far, I am enjoying it... it takes my lunchtime on weekdays lately... I don't mind. I am somewhat enjoying it so far... :D

My Life of Independence

June 2010 will be the start of my independence. I will be living on my own now, because mom decided we're already grown ups... no rules, no curfew, no restrictions! I can do whatever I want! Now I am making simple rules for myself... there's only one thing I want most in my life now, to make my dreams come true! I am eager now not to hold back at all costs... if it's for my dream, I am ready to find my way, or make my way out there... 'cause life is what I make it.

God is my witness, as He made me the way I am, I will only make what He expects from me to materialize. Life has been kind to me... Oh Yeah! I guess from this point on, nothing can hold me down. Because my Maker is the One taking me by the hand... leading me to my inevitable great future! ^__^
FINALLY... I WILL FLY :D

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

Cramming

Bought a canvass for the going away present for a friend. I am going to paint again... what up? :D.... so excited. It's a practice for my upcoming painting series.

Anyhow, got so muddle-headed last night. I felt so tensed and I just couldn't relax. It's something I did during side-jobs (or rather did not do) and so I felt so down. I was so disappointed with myself... if only I could turn back time. There wasn't a take two! :( My heart was sinking in the pit of my stomach... I felt so devastated.

But they kept assuring me I was okay... I hope I am... really.. This is a journey toward my goals... exciting, but also very frightening. Someday... soon... I will be where I want to be. Wherever my dreams could take me... I will look back to this day, as only obstacles that I will only be laughing about.

My sketch of The ICE KING: Evgeny PLUSHENKO! ^__^

I got a surprise pass @ Bigfish International!

Life sometimes surprise you with good things.... even when you don't seem to deserve it... times like these, I can't help but smile... :)


I didn't know what the whole event was all about... but I got a pass without me expecting it, while a lot of party people I heard would die just so they could get in... and I get paid too to be there! So excited, suddenly life is starting to get exciting for me ^__^

Tears for Fears: Awesome Night

Still intoxicated with the latest concert I watched with Aileen and Mel. With us were Aileen's hubby Papa Rey, and cool dude son, Ram.
I didn't really plan to go... but they were so nice as to include me when they bought the tickets. Very thoughtful people. Without them I couldn't have gotten the shots I took... a shot that almost took my breath away with amazement. I had vanquished the thought of ever being able to shoot in low light conditions. I always thought I sucked... but to my amazement... I took some shots that appealed to my taste... finally! i have struggled for so long... and didn't have the confidence because I was not satisfied with my shots before. But this time around...



My passion in shooting gripped me that night. I wanted to take a picture again... and with my calculations and timing ready to click the shutter, I shot with precision... the crowd was maddening, but it was exhilarating. I knew I needed to capture the memory of that wonderful night! :) Imagine, as a kid... they were unreachable. But now... I couldn't believe it... I have them captured in my memory stick and was captured by my cam! I have photos originally my own of Tears for Fears!

And so, it may or may not be the best shots there is of that night... I dare say... I congratulate myself for being able to produce the pics. It was the first time I satisfied myself... really. I was so awestruck... I finally knew I had it. I won't stop... I will try and try again... until I finally reach satisfaction in what I do.

Oh yeah! ^__^

Haters are confused admirers who can't understand why everybody loves you

Shine with joy and without fear! No one lights a lamp to hide it behind the door.

My Birthday! ^__^

2010 looks promising for me... this is my day and yet another year to prove myself. God has been so kind to me, will stay with me till the end of my days.

Here are the snapshots of me today... reading my fave book of all time. It's my bible...hehehe. Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky. ^__^

My Birth History... Just my analysis...

My name, mom told me, was derived from two princesses who graced the world in elegance and flair. They were Princess Diana and Princess Grace Kelly. They were both style and fashion icons...and so imagine how disappointed my mom was that I wear rugged clothes most of the time and she rarely sees me donning feminine clothes... ^__^... my mom loved to dress me up... but being somewhat a strong willed child that I am, and my love for the outdoors and sports, I veered away from her plans because of necessity on the nature of my activities :D... Don't get me wrong, I adore these ladies... after all, I am in line with glam photography and I love elegant fashion, and it's not late for me to add a new flair in my wardrobe ;).
Anyhow, sadly, these two princesses had an odd end. What was weird was that they both died in a car accident... what are the chances that both these princesses will die in a car crash... and both of them are my names no less... creepy...







And I looked up who has the same birth day and month as mine... and I found out one celebrity. . . April 20... why.... Adolf Hitler!!! Now, here's someone who really changed the course of history! I also found out that he's an artist... ugh..



Anyhow... that's all about it. What I notice about these three personalities was that they made an impact to the world... I hope I will too... for the good of course!
I want that in my own unique way, I could really make an impression. I don't know where this passion of taking over the world stems from... and my idealistic thinking... probably from Fyodor Dostoevsky :P . . . I was lucky to have people in my formative years, who reared me in goodness and values. There are things yet to learn, but I am happy that my foundation is of a conscientious nature. I may have hurt people in the past... but I readily admit when I'm in the wrong. May the day never comes that I will be consumed by evil.

I have to pull my act together...

I was scheduled to go out of town this weekend for my birthday celebration with friends... but my former employer called me up to shoot a wedding. Arghhhh! The very thing I was running away from is running after me... but I need to face my fears. The challenge won't wait for me forever... I need to pull myself together.

Shooting weddings have given me a traumatic experience as I have not been able to go home with nice shots... I know I had good shots, but not as good and awesome as the people I was with. Anyhow... I can't live in fear forever. I must be brave to face them. I don't know... I thought I had come to terms with my fears and incompetence when it comes to shooting events... and i thought I was ready to take up the challenge. Why am I so helpless... and why can't I believe in myself as much as other people believe in me? This is bad... my fear of disappointing myself is stronger than I thought. This is insane!

I hope that after the vacation, I will be enthusiastic again. I need to practice more if I want to shoot the likes of Plushenko and Yagudin! ^__^ . . . I am indeed battling with myself this time... I need a project that could satisfy me...it's as if I'm looking for something that is still unknown... my search is leading me nowhere... anyways... I know soon, I'll find my rainbow... I just hope it's sooner than soon ... (sigh)

I know I'm living on the Edge...

Gifted with these crazy dreams that won't leave me no matter how much I try to shake them off of me, I know that from this point on, I was given a cue whether to jump into the bandwagon of the successful dreamers the world has ever known or be the simpleton that I am now.

I introspected, and realized that I had been indeed hibernating in my comfort zone. Now, the question is, should I stay, or should I go? (I know, it's a song by The Clash :P)... I am afraid of the many people who'd torment me day and night about their negative opinions they have of me (although I had only experienced this from a very few people and it was really me who torments myself), but then again, I had to think... what about those people that I'd inspire because of God's gift through me? There is no doubt that the way of fulfilling one's dream is hard and at times trial after trials will come our way to discourage us... but now that I think about it, I will give it a shot! That's my only chance in this life. . . better fail trying than asking myself the "What ifs" of life.

And also, I am not a big fan of getting left behind. So I have listed steps to make me the person that I'm supposed to be. I hope I can still make it... my dreams will direct my path. I just hope my burning passion for it will not fade away as time passes by... I just hope and pray that I'd get to see more and more people who will also appreciate my works... how can they not like it? After all, I do believe that my passion, my talents, and my works, will come from my God... ^__^

DOUBLE TIME! I Need to excel right away!

Yes, I have decided on a whim... i want to be a Sports Photographer. I have tried my hands on everything else and didn't fare in some, and so I want to try this one too. ^__^
I really really really love sports, I knew I should've been an athlete... if only I wasn't so sickly as I child (*blech*)... I didn't know why I have been so athletic...none of my family members love sports....

Anyways, found these cute rivals ^__^... a bonus!!! alright! So excited!
I need to excel fast if I want to photograph these two geniuses while they're still active in their sport... ^__^
And also, It's high time that my camera captures good-looking guys! And I really need to upgrade....Yehey!

When you start to depend on someone, you start losing...

I wanted so much to make everything I write here to be positive... but this time, I felt I need to unload some of the emotional baggage that torments me. I am really looking forward to this next project. I want it to be fresh, exciting, and new to the eye. I planned and planned for this shoot... but one of the team members I recruited was starting to get difficult to manage. She's not a team player... I feel so sad... she's a very talented person and since she can help me a lot, I also want to help her. But I guess we are not good together.

All I can feel is disappointment... I wasn't broken the way I was in 2009 by the same experience... just frustrated and disappointed. I didn't put much responsibility on her this time... I was just shattered. Good thing I have good people around me... but still, she's so important to me that things would definitely be different if she'd be in it. I will try everything in my disposal to be fair and try to talk to her. Because after all, I am striving to be a matured person through and through. But whatever happens... I cannot overlook the fact that she betrays me...

One thing I learned about the whole experience from last year, is that I shouldn't rely too much on people. My hope is in my Creator who created me for who I am... no one can hurt me anymore if i won't allow other people to do that to me. I would rather love them and expect nothing from them, because that is the way to real freedom. You can't be disappointed if you didn't expect... I know I still hurt.. but in due time I can move on. It is reality that I live in an unfair world... but still I want to make everything better... even if it's a long shot... i still hope in my own little way... that I could give a good example.

No matter how hard, I still want to say... "SMILE, LIFE IS FULL OF PLEASANT SURPRISES!"

Easter it is! A celebration of Christ's Resurrection :)

Well, the Holy Week ended so soon without me noticing it. My days for reflection is already over... I know I still want more, but some things are inevitable and it's time to get back to reality. I know that there will be more tough times ahead...but still, I can't help but be thankful that Holy Week is an event here in the Philippines and a National Holiday. I am one of the lucky people to be a Catholic who is given a privilege to observe the rites freely. I love participating in the Holy Week the conservative way... It made me think of my childhood rival... but oddly, the memory of him no longer make me sad. I know he's undergoing a lot of trials in his chosen path as I do on my own, so all I can do is pray for him, for success in his endeavors. I am sure he prays for me as before, and I am happy to have met him in my formative years. He will always be my idol, a role model in everything I embark on, and a worthy rival. I was my best when we were having a silent healthy competition... but it had to end since time dictated that we part ways and choose our own fields. Holy week and Christmas brings me back to my memories with and against him...those days were so much fun. But at the end of it all, I knew I had to look for a new rival.. a friend, and a worthy opponent in a healthy competition to reach my full potential. Now it is Easter, and God's gift to me? I guess it's something I had all along. The people around me, the ones who were with me through my tough times and happy times... the new people I encounter, and the new ones in the future. I know that they will play I vital role in helping me hone my soul... not only in my talents, but also my maturity as a person. I am thankful that I am actually surrounded with wonderful people... I am only sorry that at times, I was an ingrate and never saw that the people who came my way are awesome people. From now on, since it is never too late as long as people are alive, I will bless each day and thank God for the people who comes my way. And so since it's Easter, this is a photo of my special recipe I cooked for my family. They love it very much and specifically asked me to cook for them. ^__^ Deliciousoooo!!!



Recipe available HERE

My dreams are the only things I own right now...

You don't need to explain your dreams. They belong to you. If you live to please other people, everybody may like you, but your are going to hate yourself . Be the best, but get ready to be attacked. Only mediocrity is safe. Take your risks and be the best. It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting. How much I missed simply because I was afraid of missing. The reward for our work is not what we get, but what we become. Your work must take you close to yourself and to God (this is not wishful thinking, you can make it because you are brave!) Trust and start walking. We are not alone in the dark, our path will unfold as we move. R.L.Stevenson once said: "“I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.” If you can't move in the physical world, move in your imagination, but MOVE. - Paulo Coehlo

I did a lot of reflecting lately. While most of my friends look forward to Holy Week as an event wherein they could get a chance to have fun out in the sun, I look forward to it because it is a time for me to recharge and re-arrange my life again. I do not claim that I am better than them because of that... but my character, I believe, requires more intensity. I am not a fun tyrant... my fun is my own company. I am not a fan of being a person who is told what to do... or be a person who do things just because society dictates that it is fun or cool. I create fun for other people. I never cared if people see me as boring, loner, or whatever it is they label me... after all, they can never make me happy... because at the end of the day, only few people who could understand my passion and my purpose are the only people who truly counts in life.

As for my dreams... I think I have it figured out again. Those are the things that unravels itself time and again and I cannot escape it. It stirs in me a great yearning and longing to do it. I think what is lacking in me is focus and intensity...passion and love for my art. But I do believe that my dream is starting to get all fired up again. I will try not to lose focus... because this is a crucial moment for me. I have a big decision making to do... My time of hiding from my path has finally ended... I will try not to get scared, or falter. There may be times that I will fall, I know, but I will have to trust myself...and trust the God who made me to be what I am. I am not Diana Grace for nothing.

It's good that people believe in me... but...

I am quite impatient now. I had a meeting last night with one of my photographer friends. He taught me a lot of things and I knew that I need a lot of things to learn still. He referred me to a photographer who wants to employ me as graphic artist/ photographer at a very tempting salary. I am tempted, to be honest..and besides, his office is just 40 steps away from my house (not really...but it's so close from where I live)... It's very near than my current work... but I had to think. I can't just be a photographer if I still cannot trust myself with the skills (I might end up doubting myself forever if I continue pushing myself too far and hate photography in the end). I will help him in every possible way I can since he needs my assistance.... but as for being a full time artist for him... I have a lot of thinking to do. I need to polish my talents first. I don't want it to be another string of mediocre works! It's good that people around me believe in what I can do... but it is so hard when it's me that I have to convince. I need to think. On the other hand, I am not progressing in my artistic growth in my current job... so that's a big thing to consider too. Hmmm, it's really perplexing... I get tired too... I lose inspiration also... I am after all, just a simple person ... but with big dreams larger than life (sometimes I doubt if I could pull it off). That is what is causing my frustrations... a lot of my contemporaries have done a lot already... while I am still groping in the dark... I know in time I will have great works... I am made to think..am I hiding in my comfort zone? I don't know if this is cowardice... whatever. For now, i want to focus on my studies of Master Arts, enjoy my works...far from pressure. I want to give my full heart and passion on what I do, only through that could I reach out to people... Soon I will have to decide. After all, mom told me I didn't need to work for my keep... so that leaves me free to chase my dreams. I am in full control of my talents... it's just that I am not comfortable to have other people shoulder my expenses. For now, I will just have to make what I am about to do. I will face that decision making soon, i know... but I will have to brush it aside... can't afford to have my mind messed up as I will be having a project in two weeks time...:)

For You... Alexei Yagudin's Skate of John Denver's Song...

Arghhhh, I can't decide who I will make first in sculpture! I am torn between Alexei Yagudin and Evgeny Plushenko! Hmph! I like them both. And this song which he skated on became my favorite now. Hehhehe. Love!


Just to look in your eyes again
Just to lay in your arms
Just to be the first one always there for you
Just to live in your laughter
Just to sing in your heart
Just to be everyone of your dreams come true
Just to sit by your windows
Just to touch in the night
Just to offer a prayer each day for you
Just to long for your kisses
Just to dream of your sighs
Just to know that I'd give my life for you.

For you all the rest of my life
For you all the best of my life
For you alone, only for you.

Just to wake up each morning
Just to you by my side
Just to know that you're never really far away
Just a reason for living
Just to say I adore
Just to know that you're here in my heart to stay.

For you all the rest of my life
For you all the best of my life
For you alone, only for you.

Just the words of a love song
Just the beat of my heart
Just the pledge of my life, my love for you.

Just for Inspiration...Gorgeous Plushenko! hehehe ^_^

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.


I found these cool photos of Evgeny Plushenko and I can't help but to post it. I was looking for great images of him and saw his photos when he skated "I want you to want me" ^___^ I really love his skate choreography here. I gotta post this!

I refuse to see my dream destroyed...

"Reality can destroy the dream; why shouldn't the dream destroy reality?" - George Moore

What are my dreams exactly?.... like any other human beings...there are too many. But as I grew older... I know I needed to let go of some of them...

I want to be that artist who could awaken the soul, move the hearts of people who observe my works. I want to make a big big difference. I want to use art as a medium to heal the wounds and hurts. I want my art to have the power to create a world where people could experience joy and happiness. Art is not a senseless form of vandalism...
It is, and should be, an expression of one's happiness while existing on Earth. And I am determined to retain that resolve...as long as I am alive.

What I want now, is a beautiful world. Safety for children from all the pain and hurts that threaten to destroy their innocence. To protect their fragile hearts, whenever it's subjected to cruelty. I think big...really big. I wish to help the world with my tiny little hands. Somehow, I hope to make everything around me, as cheerful as my childhood... full of energy, full of enthusiasm, and full of hope. I know there are too many things that is not great in this world... but for the benefit of my soul, I choose this dream of mine to be my reality.

Note: The picture on top is a sculpture I made last March 13, 2010. it was made of air-dry clay. I need to polish it still... Hope to be like Michaelangelo Bounarroutti soon :)

Happy Birthday to my Mom!

It's my mom's birthday! And I am very happy to be one of her kids. It was hard to convince her to celebrate her birthday this Friday night. All of us, her children, contributed to the party (of course not including my brothers who work abroad). I was in charge of the cake! ^__^ But my mom is still so busy that she didn't want us to go to the house... but tomorrow's a weekend so what the heck? My mom's such a workaholic! (hmmmm...maybe I inherited it from her!)

This is the picture stored in my PC... hehehe. She asked me to restore this, so this is the only pic of her that I could upload. ^_^

I miss my mom very much. But she still never failed to buy me girly clothes... she's so annoyed everytime she sees me buying unisex clothes. She wanted me to be ladylike... she's so funny. She's just a typical mom who's so annoyed when I go out with my gayfriends because she'd rather I go out with boys so that I get a boyfriend already! And she also didn't like it that I only hang out with my college guy friends since she knows they are already my siblings! An extension of my family. She's always nagging me about how I should act feminine... (it sure is hard growing up with brothers... !) that really makes me laugh. But even though she kept nagging me... I am thankful that God gave her to me. I wish that I still have so many years to spend with her. I miss her so much! Happy birthday mom!

SOON - Alexei Yagudin, my sculpture project after Evgeny Plushenko ^__^

I know there's someone somewhere
Someone who's sure to find me soon
After the rain goes there are rainbows
I'll find my rainbow soon
soon my broken heart will mend
soon a happy ending.
Troubles behind me,
you will find me.
homeward bound,
safe and sound and soon
Soon it won't be just pretend
Soon a happy ending
Troubles behind me,
you will find me.
homeward bound,
safe and sound and soon
Love, can you hear me
If you're near me
Sing your song
Sure and strong
And soon

It's a song where Yagudin skated with great emotion. It made me think of my own destiny (laughs) ... It's very touching really. Artists could really awaken the subconscious of people. Super love everything that Yagudin performs.