CBCP Year of the Youths started now. December 16, 2010.

This is indeed a good year for me. It was declared a year of the youths. Thus, I know it will be the start of my good life too! ^_^. It gets exciting everyday... it may not be always about happy times, but I know I have help whenever I need it.

I want to take over the world... really. I know it will take a lot than a small amount of effort, but I have to decide NOW. It's now or never!!! I don't want to let the world pass me by... and besides, I have a task to fulfill.

There's a reason why I am in THIS family.... and for that reason, I need to be my best. I need to uphold my family name because our lives are intertwined with a lot of tasks that needed to be done to help the world. I have to be a role model to the youth, thus I refrain from doing anything against my principles. I am a devout Catholic.... but let me correct any prejudgments that may occur right away after reading that statement. I assure you that my faith underwent a lot of tumultuous doubts and arguments to my logical side before I succumbed to it finally. I am not saying it is an end all and be all, all I'm saying is that being a Catholic is not at all bad, rigid yes, but can be useful when you want to be someone who wants to be honestly connected to God. I want to be an encouragement to others... or rather, I need to be. I wasn't born here to waste that privilege.

It's hard to do my task, but with God's help, I know I can....why, He's my number one Fan! He made me to be me....He knows every cell in my body, and how I should function... and the desire in my heart is the manual for me to function. I need to maximize my usage to its full potential, so that I could face Him at the end of my days, proud and happy.

I have to be ready to face sadness and misunderstanding. I have to be strong... I want to be bold despite the wounds that my journey might inflict on me. I have to be always in high hopes, and high spirits, knowing that God is always at my side, and that HE WILL NEVER ABANDON ME...

I have been so faithful to my God, because all through my formative years, I have experienced a lot of faithfulness on His part. He worked in ways I could not imagine. Gave me big surprises that I could never have conceived in my head. It's a very exciting world for me really... but somehow I get all anxious because I look at my situations in life. I doubt Him, His promises, His faithfulness...

One significant verse that held true in my life was when His words hit me... "I will repay you for the lost years", and it took place in my life. True to His words, he took over and tidied the circumstances for me to walk on. He smoothens the road on which I pass, and if ever I walk in uncertainties, I know He takes me by the hand and take me to a wonderful place.

I want to believe all the time, and tell the world at the top of my lungs about God's goodness, but most of the time, I am gripped with fear. But looking back, and listing all the wonderful gifts God has given me, I know I am in good hands. I shall want nothing. I am teary eyed each time I remember all the wonderful gifts God has given me. And just being with God and recognizing it as the truest gift in this world is also a gift from Him. I love being there with Him...in His presence... Just basking in His holiness, I feel so happy and serene.

It is indeed a good life!

One piece of the puzzle... I think I found it...

Hmmm, I guess I can call myself lucky today because I have been having a very anxious day last Saturday and now I got a message that somehow eased my troubled mind. Having hesitations on my decision... I really have a big decision to make and it really required a leap of faith!

But I originally knew I need to make this turning point in my life. I've reached the end of this chapter, and there's no way I'm having cold feet now. I have been bombarded with a lot of positive messages coming out of the blue lately and I do believe that it's nothing coincidental. I probably need a huge amount of belief for the great self-doubt that lies ahead (ulk). I need to believe in myself more than anything...

Yesterday, when I opened my email... I was pleasantly surprised and got scared at the same time because of how the message I read in my email hit me directly. It was a very clear message and I was left without a doubt what I'm supposed to do. One piece of a puzzle in my life, of what I need to accomplish. In my limited mind, I allowed logic and practicality to grip me, but I can't allow that anymore. I have been staying too long in this mediocrity... I have to make a BIG difference now.

Hang in there... double time... and I know I am safe, I need not be afraid... :) . . . :D . . . :))... ^___________^... The realization of one's dream, lies in the hand of those who are brave enough to make it happen! Don't ever forget that!

A very direct approach

Yesterday I was disrupted. Taken away from my peaceful mindset. But I got the message that was clear and direct... I need to do what I had to do. Pending activity for 10 years....

Why my dreams are endless...

Yesternight was one of the best night I had... I completely overuse this phrase a lot this year, which only proves that everything is awesome in my world! ^__^ (just in my opinion okay?)

Well, why can't it be? I have a very interesting life (If I may say so...in fact, very extraordinary, and it only happens to extraordinary people - quoted from C.S. Lewis) I knew since I was a child that I have to achieve something great than the average people. Why can't I think that way?... my life was a constant reminder that I am different from the usual routines. I must admit, I sometimes feel ostracized and alone because I am different that I sometimes want to belong... but being so comfortable in a small world is dangerous, especially when you have something great to offer that is vital to the world.

Some people's mindset is small, thus they move in their small world, refraining from asking a lot from their lives, the universe, thus, limiting themselves from their capacity. It's not a sin to be that simple, it's just a little sad that a lot of people could not realize their dream because they chose to let it go for it required a huge amount of efforts and sacrifices. Thus they end up being mediocre...and soon, they will get frustrated and when it builds up in them, they will hate themselves and result to being violent, and even hurting other people in the process.

But we must remember what Monsignor Escriva said in his book THE WAY, and I quote: "Why fly like a barnyard hen when you can soar like an eagle?" This is a favorite of mine. It's a constant reminder how we should stop limiting ourselves within the walls of our comfort zones.

Yesternight, I had an opportunity to attend the retreat at Don Bosco, conducted by one of the greatest Salesian priests in the Philippines today., Fr. Armand Robleza. He told us a story, about Swayne.

Swayne was born in a family of ducks. He acted like a duck, made noises like a duck, ate like a duck, went accompanying the other ducks...in short he acted like a duck through and through.

But he has a problem. He was always taunted by his family because he looked different. He was white, has elongated neck and legs, and had powerful wings which he timidly did not dare spread because he was shy. Since he was different from the rest, he felt he was a no good.

One day, an amazing thing happened. While Swayne and the other ducks went paddling in the lake as they used to everyday, a hunter spotted them. He began to shoot at them! And amidst all the ruckus, ducks swimming away in different directions, quacking here and quacking there.... Swayne spread his wings and swiftly flew away to the sky!

The other ducks were mesmerized. They were all shocked and saw that Swayne was actually beautiful! He is not the ugly duck now, for they realized his individual beauty by being himself.



Meanwhile, Swayne had an epiphany too. As he glided, he saw his reflection in the water. He was pleasantly surprised upon seeing his reflection.

"Wow, I am beautiful!" he said, "My neck is long, but it fits well with my long legs and big wings! I am not a duck! Why did I spend my life thinking I am a duck when all along I am a beautiful swan?"

Moral of the story...not that ducks are cursed animals.. (laughs) but stop limiting yourself! Expand your horizons! At times, God sends turmoil and disrupts our peaceful world, our comfort zone, to budge us to fly...because we are meant to be great! Each one of us is great.

Be at peace, for God will take us by the hand! Believe the God who made you, He knows every cells of your body... He knows the talents He gave you, so that when He push you to do something, you know you can, because He said so!!!

God's children will never fear the future... may it be unknown, for they know that God is with them, standing by their side.

Thus, the retreat yesternight ended... with all of my anxieties vanishing into thin air. God answered ALL my questions and eased away my uncertainties in life. And by the way, I got a call, a job interview while I was attending the retreat... just a confirmation that God's blessing is limitless! :D

Let Go If Your Hand is Full!

Yesterday was another grueling day for me... I was accused of doing something I didn't do, I was being falsely accused and it's starting to hurt my reputation as a professional. Well, it has something to do with me being chosen as the best poster among all the rest (which was not a big deal to me really) and now I had to be discredited for my work. Whatever,what's important is that I know I'm good, and I've shown other people that I am. The one who told me I'm not good was just one person... because this person is determined to put me down to rise.

I was the lucky one chosen to be pulled down... I honestly don't care anymore. I have proven my worth, and no one can make me believe otherwise. I know my GOD who made me, and no human being could take that from me. "Do not doubt your value..." C.S. Lewis Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

My sister told me, if my hands are full, let go... yeah, I once heard that from a priest, and they were right. I have to let go and make way to newer things. To new opportunities. How can I catch new and exciting opportunities when my fists are tightly clenched? Holding on to what is no longer for me?

I'll let go alright... but my right hand will be holding on to my God... cheesy eh? But it's true. Now, I have nothing from this world... only Him... and with that, I have everything... :)

Despite everything, I will hold my head up high. This is just a calling for me to spread my wings and fly... I need to navigate the world. Not a small office just around the corner. With God at my side, I know I could overcome every challenge that comes my way. That is assurance enough. And because of that, I will meet my inevitable great future... because I have a powerful God who will guide me to that great path.

Everything, just like the past painful memories from my childhood, would become just distant sadness.... CHEERS to my new life! 2011, thank you for making way for me! :)

*For I am the Lord, your God, who grasp your right hand; It is I who say to you, “Fear not, I will help you.” – Isaiah 41:13

Isaiah 48:17-19
17 Thus says the LORD, your redeemer, the Holy One of Israel I, the LORD, your God, teach you what is for your good, and lead you on the way you should go. 18 If you would hearken to my commandments, your prosperity would be like a river, and your vindication like the waves of the sea; 19 your descendants would be like the sand, and those born of your stock like its grains, their name never cut off or blotted out from my presence.

Feast day of the Immaculate Conception

I woke up early today with severe headache... I have a fever that won't go away for days now. Anyhow, I have a big hunch that today's gonna be a good day :).

I had a dream btw... that dream made me smile... I had been a little anxious about a certain facet of my life, but given that assurance, I had to smile. I hope everything will be alright. I'm so writing it in my journal! teehee :D

Anyhow, I have to go... need to rush to work and I hope to attend Mass tonight or lunchtime.

*Updating...

Just got home from the Holy Mass, and I was so lucky because I was able to witness two newly ordained Salesian priests! It was special because today's the feast day of the Immaculate Heart of Mary!

I was able to hear the "Alleluia" of the great composer Handel! It was so beautiful... It felt like I was transported to heaven, hearing the angels singing the song in unison....

I have been so inspired today. Got so excited over some new ideas that kept popping in my head.

Too many things to do... sigh!

As Christmas is coming nearer and nearer, I realized that I had to rush and make a list already. I'm a little late...

I got sick big time... I didn't know what happened. I was to shoot a pre-nup one Saturday morning, but it was canceled... good thing it was, because that same day I got chills. Then I had high fever all of a sudden. A fever that lasted till Monday night, thus, not enabling me to go work... I needed to finish a lot of things, but I fear my health is no longer with me.

"The spirit is willing but the body is weak" ~_~...

I still have a slight fever today, but it's okay now... I worked when I was sick before. Besides, I don't like to spend my days lying around too much. I am such a workaholic... resting is very much alien to me.

My last entry was about the RH bill... yeah I pretty much ranted about it because I saw a newspaper last Saturday and the Pope's statement was at the headlines. That got my blood boil.

Next year would be a very different year for me. I am ready to make sacrifices, but still I am very much afraid. But I have a promising future, so I have big hope in my capacity.

Life is full of uncertainties, but the adventures lie there... I can't stay doing the same boring routine and have my promising life rot. I will be okay... I just need to promise to myself to stay humble.

First stop, need to work on my language skills, then my people skills, and do research on basic theology... I'm going to write... I hope I won't be too one-sided.

The Church's Stand against RH Bill in question

Before anything else, I am not forcing people to be Catholics... most of my friends don't like being one and I don't force on them my beliefs. But there comes a point wherein the Catholic teachings are being attacked, and some of the statements are being distorted to befit the wishes of the 'pro-choice' movement. These people who are mostly cradle Catholics (people who were born in Catholic families)should just stop being one. They are free to choose their beliefs... just don't lie!

I have been absent for a long time in my duty of defending my Faith. I have observed in silence as the people mocked the Church's beliefs openly.


Most Catholics are like me, they no longer defend their convictions. Or there are also people who have no idea what the Church's stand against some issues in the first place.

I also wonder why, out of all the beliefs, the Catholics are the most oppressed. Anything against Catholic Faith is taken without retaliation and when we retaliate, we receive angrier reactions.

Whilst on the other hand, if one taunts a Jew, A Muslim, A Buddhist and so on, they defend it with great passion.... in the guise of not being too judgmental or racist. It's annoying, especially when fellow Catholics mock the Catholic teachings... I often wonder why not study the Church's teachings first before they turn against it?

I don't know what all the ruckus was all about. In my perspective, the Church is only echoing its tradition from thousands of years ago. It is dignity of every human being that the Church propagates. And the family is a very important unit. Let's face it, people who engage in careless sex produce fatherless children who grow up trying to fill the void of a broken home with a lot of unthinkable things. In our country, which is a poor country, giving away contraceptives will only encourage the poor populace of the country to not think of anything but idle thoughts because of what the media feeds them... which are mostly cheap entertainment.

What the masses need now is guidance towards functioning well in terms of their skills, talents, and gifts bestowed on them. Again, it is not my principle to shove my thoughts to people, All I'm saying is, be a smart person. Don't let the media fool you without knowing the root of the matter first especially when it deals with another person's life (abortion and the health dangers for the baby and the mother)...

In a current issue, I was taken aback because tabloids and newspapers were spreading rumors that the Vatican is switching its stand against contraceptives. It is sad, that the pope's statement regarding the use of condoms of male prostitutes in order to prevent inflicting diseases on other people was distorted to defend people's long time cry for reproductive health bill.

In what I read, the Pope never changed its stand, i.e., the precepts of the Church and its stand against the RH bill. The Pope is there to lead the people, and has no power to change the traditions and beliefs of the Church instituted and founded by Christ. If he does that, then he himself will be subjected to excommunication... and the Pope knew better than anyone what a Catholic Faith is.

Now, the statement of the Pope regarding the condom is not for the people who intends to use it for sleeping around purposes. Sleeping around or casual intimacy with strangers reduce the respect for people as it objectifies another person and human being as someone who will do for the night... for the week, or whatever.

The Church will never change its stand as it is Pro-life. Since the time of the Doctors of the Church (the likes of St. Augustin to St. Thomas of Aquinas), it never changed. In my years of research I found this to be true, I can certainly vouch for that. People may laugh at my serious tone regarding this matter, but I had to write it down. Because mostly, in this age of relativism, the Catholics are treated as old-fashioned, weird, and not practical... which is not true.... ok, old-fashioned maybe... weird in a normal person's perspective, but not practical? ...

As St. Ignatius de Loyola prayed "Only your grace, your love on me bestow, these makes me rich, all else will I forego" kind of crazy... but this is practical... this is FAITH! ;) I wish I am friends with him, alongside St. Francis Xavier ... :P

My Superhero Complex... does it still apply in my world?

I guess watching too much cartoons in my formative years really molded my mind BIG TIME! :D . . . I help people not really expecting anything in return.
I went through life doing that and so in my adolescent stage, it was taken for what it is. But I never thought that being an adult would bring me under suspicion. Mostly, it's pretty annoying. People take my wanting to be helpful as something to benefit me. Let me get things straight... I help because I want this world I live in to be a better place. With my idealistic upbringing and tiny hands, I am hoping that when I grow old, and I look back and reminisce, I could say with satisfaction that I made a difference to the world.

I have seen a cartoon show in my teen years, and the philosophy of the character was deeply ingrained in my brain. The character said about a struggling person walking towards his dreams... "I would rather be of help to him. For I know, with his perseverance and talent, he could succeed wherever he may be... so why not I, do what I could to help him to his inevitable great future?"

So... with these words, I became enthusiastic about reaching out to people who struggle and lend a hand. Help him reach his dreams or whatever. And hopefully, that person too, will recognize my help and extend his help to others. I want a beautiful world for people I come in contact with, and the next generation to benefit the world I have in mind.

What happened to good people? Why are the people around me so selfish already? Where a man live for himself only? It's really sad.... especially when I do things for people and they think I do it because I expect something in return... some even thought I am in love with them. It's sad :(... people no longer have goodness in them. They take advantage of people who do good :( The world is really full of distorted perceptions... and mostly, are made of selfishness. No more values, morals, and principles. I don't want to be judgmental, nor I want to shove my beliefs on people... but I just wish that people could somehow learn how to give without thinking of themselves...even for once.

I had been associating with BIG people recently... and I was impressed that they talk about world affairs and how they could make a big difference to make the world a better place to live in. And they act on it... My ideals were fueled... and I have come to compare their world from my exposure with the people I constantly come in contact with in my daily life.

Small people talk about love life, gossips, and rantings... it's not wrong to occasionally touch these subjects... but to obsess about it, killing their productivity... it's rather sad.

I prefer being alone because I know people will ridicule my BIG plans... One day, I will find my place... with the Big Thinkers like me... :)

CHEERS!

Things I learned about respect.

I am not fond of being too keen in observing other people. That's why they think I don't give a damn about them, thus, I am tagged as snooty or arrogant. But I guess it's because I didn't want to end up concerning myself with their affairs when it is not my business.

One thing more, I am not offended when their opinions differ from mine, I just know people are unique, that's why they don't think alike. I think this is what they call respect... and I am afraid to shun people's thoughts, because just as I value my own insights, their thoughts are also valuable. It may not be important to me today, but who knows, tomorrow or in the future, I may agree with them.

The struggles in life bring out different facets of a person's character, one opinion applies, and on another aspect, a totally different one will appear much more applicable.

So what did I learn? Never shun other people's point of views... you'll never know, in the future, you realize they are right. So give respect :)

Killing our dreams

re-posted from Paulo Coelho

The first symptom of the process of our killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The truth is, they are afraid to fight the Good Fight.

The second symptom of the death of our dreams lies in our certainties. Because we don’t want to see life as a grand adventure, we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. But we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those who are engaged in the battle. For them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what’s important is only that they are fighting the Good Fight.

And, finally, the third symptom of the passing of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon; we ask for nothing grand, and we cease to demand anything more than we are willing to give. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature; we put aside the fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams – we have refused to fight the Good Fight.

When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go through a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being.
We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. What we sought to avoid in combat – disappointment and defeat – come upon us because of our cowardice.

And one day, the dead, spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe, and we actually seek death. It’s death that frees us from our certainties, from our work, and from that terrible peace of our Sunday afternoons

A Challenge in Life

"I'll make God proud of me" --- these were strong words I uttered one morning in my dream. I woke up and that was deeply imprinted in my brain. I got scared... but at the same time I was challenged.

I grew up in this kind of environment. Strict and conservative in following the Catholic Church's rules. And although I may not understand a lot of things, it became handy in my daily life. In my dealings with people, I realized that I have become the person molded in the strictest guidance of the Church. I am not saying I am holier than thou... or that I am above everyone else... I'm just saying that no matter how bad people think Catholic teachings are, in my life, I know that it helped me to be a better person. I needed the guidance, and without it, I know, that I will fall into the deepest recesses of losing myself. I have read philosophy books and non-Catholic teachings and there were good ones really, but I had my pick. I respect other people's opinions and I learn a lot from them. I try not to have biases since I do know how important a person's belief is, specially in spiritual matters.

What I said in my dream... it was actually a scary challenge. But I read a blog by Bo Sanchez, where he said "God is your number 1 fan!" Preachy and kind of corny isn't it? Godly matters are considered outdated nowadays... but I can't help but want to believe it. May it be true or not, I want to believe it. People may see me as delusional or not practical... but it's the way I want to live. I want my life to be worth God's while. It already is... And it is my duty to stand tall and shine my light... hopefully, a reflection of God's image. The good God not distorted by other people's opinion... but my own opinion of who He is... my own knowledge of Him that I gathered as I journeyed in my life. :)

On a lighter and very different note:
Played with my cam again one Sunday morning while I was studying. ^__^... I also took the liberty of applying and trying out make-up on myself since I do get out a lot lately. Haha...just woke up happy that day, that's all! ^__^


I just illustrated my opinions on how I express my thoughts :D

Fork road...

I read something today. Something that made my resolution strong. I know that God is with me on this.

I know I am alone in my innermost dream and that there is only God that I could rely on.... but there are times when I just wish that there will be people I could somehow trust with my thoughts, my plans, and aspirations. I used to be a daredevil, an adventurous individual... not caring about what other people say so long as I don't hurt them or step on them, but I think I lost myself on the way. I need to reconnect with my old self, that brave one who could face the unknown fearlessly.

I am in the middle of confusion... I got trapped in temporary glory that is fleeting and I try to fan the flames in futility. Now, seeing the hopelessness of it all, I am lost. Who am I?



Dreamer? Do I dare call myself that?. . . . what are my dreams now? I lost it... or was I a coward not to walk my way to it? Since it's a very big dream really.... It could blow anyone's mind... but it is the desire I have that kept me alive... I just hope I won't let go!

Superhero? I want to make a big difference to the world really. . . but why is it that I only hurt people... though unknowingly and unintentionally, my presence only creates pain to them.

I used to be all this, but I realized something scary about me.... I AM A COWARD!... I allowed myself to be trapped in this web of fears. I used to live freely, laugh joyfully, challenge myself to get out of the comfort zone.... what happened?

I became attached to the mediocrity of my surroundings. I became too comfortable with just being silent in the background. I withdrew from pressures and became mediocre. THIS IS NOT ME! My enemy is nobody else but myself! If only I could punch myself in the face!

Anyhow... I am slowly creating a door of new adventures for myself. I am a bit sad to be leaving people behind again. But that is life. People are there for you for a reason if they do not join you in your progress, then they are not meant to stay in your path... sad isn't it? Specially when you hold them dear...

Anyhow, I worked on this poster for my company

I'm happy to have mapped out my plans!

Just yesterday, I was on leave. It was a refreshment from doing my routine. I was able to do things that I otherwise couldn't have done if I didn't force myself to have the luxury of taking my leave from work.
First day, I dozed off... read a lot of articles, and just been lazy. :).... My old self would have thought it a waste of time, but this time, I allowed myself that. :D
Second Day, although I promised myself that I'd be a good girl and make my planned tasks, I slacked off. Then went to videoke with sister and her friend... It was a total waste of time and money... but the joy was worth it afterwards. Some guilty pleasures but I had an enjoyable evening... :D

Third day was a Sunday... I went to mass early, and karaoke-d the whole night away...haha! Life was still fun... :)

and finally the Fourth day, I tried to finally function. I was able to post my online portfolio and send resumes... indeed.... the journey of looking at my old works was profitable for me. I was reminded of how good I am... I used to shun "rest" from my agenda, but now, I think people definitely need it to refresh themselves with newer ideas... from now on, I will allow myself some creative solitary pace.... :)

I lost cool... and I instantly felt bad about it...

I know I needed to tame my temper. And because I lost my cool, I am feeling really bad about it. I know I didn't have an excuse, but I do try to become a nice person.... because THAT is an achievement.

There are just so many confusing things that people throw at me. I am used to being a loner. People only shake their heads in exasperation everytime I tell them my ideas. They don't take me seriously. So everything I did, so long as I wanted to do it, I put my heart and soul into it, not being bothered if people see me as weird or whatever.

But lately, people started noticing my work... it's hard for me to believe it, but they do. I am not so used to the attention, so it's so new to me. It felt weird since they could not really relate to me, but I somehow felt happy, and slowly I started to feel that my existence have some purpose. It's nice to be recognized and to somehow belong. I always knew I am good. But never did I allow it to enter my head.

But lo and behold, I am quite shocked because the other day, an unidentified person sent me a hate message in one of the social networks I frequented. He/she was bitter of the fact that I didn't approve his/her friend request. The letter told me of how arrogant I have become just because I am now somebody... which was absurd!

I never thought of myself as SOMEBODY! I am just like everyone else...
The person continued with angry words in the letter saying that I close my doors to the people like him/her. It's so annoying... from those words, I realized that he/she is holding whatever I have accomplished against me.

What I am now (whatever I am in his/her eyes), I am sure it's the fruit of my labors and self-discipline. I am sure a lot of people will not want to be like me, if they just know what forged me to be the person I am now. They will give up on the sleepless nights I endured, the mockeries I heard, and the ridicule of my dreams. All the uncertainties in life were thrown at me. And it's not so easy. That is why, whoever he/she is... I got angry and hurt... I lost my cool, but I deeply regret it instantly. But I hope people will realize, that instead of envying other people, they should stop and think about the difficulties I have undergone. That behind the smile, there were lots of tears that were shed. I am what I am because of that.

And to that person, all the best of luck. Hope your mind will be enlightened someday.

Crying photo series w/ trial photo manipulation ^__^

Real Girl

I never pretend to be something I'm not
You got what you see when you see what I got
We live in the real world, I'm just a real girl
I know exactly where I stand

Life is too short

Life is too short
Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness
Laugh when you can
Apologize when you should
And let go of what you can't change
love deeply and forgive quickly
Take chances, give everything and have no regrets

Life is too short to be unhappy
You have to take the good with the bad
Smile when you're sad
Love what you got and always remember what you had.
Always forgive, never forget
Learn from your mistakes but never regret

A Child in solemn prayer

When I went to Mass last Sunday, I was surprised to see a child in front of me, praying solemnly, facing the altar with great reverence. He was about seven to eight years of age. I couldn't help but admire him... because at such a very young age, he already knew the importance of a spiritual life. I used to be like him as a kid, growing up from a very devout Catholic family. Would go to church alone, talk to my Travel Companion about everything. My anxieties, my worries, things that upsets me... things that makes me smile, makes me happy... just about anything that happens to me under the sun. I have changed significantly... I want to remember that me in the past... That was why, seeing that kid moved me.

In a world where technology is the trend... it is very rare that people, children specially, have time to pray. That is why, it was such a pleasant surprise to see such a small kid in fervent prayer. His parents may have taught him good values... but even if they did not... That kid... he's special. I hope he won't ever change. In this world of turmoil and confusion... where the philosophy of relativism exists... when everything evil is justified...It's a refreshing sight to see the innocence of children... that goodness that can happen only when one commits himself/herself to be good. It's rare nowadays... I hope I can make myself the way I am before. :)