Discernment Phase --- how to succeed in life

There are just those days when you are presented with those choices. And you know that choosing the right thing is one bumpy road, yet in your heart of hearts, it is the one thing that will make you happy.

I felt so burdened for days because I felt so little compared to a lot of people. I do know however that I am talented in so many ways *(trying to encourage myself here so don't be too harsh on me hehehe)*, just that I don't know who the people I should go to for guidance.

If I was thinking of only myself, then I won't have to be so troubled. It was lately that I came to realize that my destiny is a lot different than what I expected and what I had planned. I used to be so carefree, but now I can no longer do that. There are people who looked up to me as a budding employer, and the realization shook me. Even my dad's former caretakers were asking if they could have their grandchildren work under me....

All of a sudden, I am the head? I feel so incompetent. But what will happen to them? For days I have been pondering about it. I lost sleep thinking how I will pull things through. And so I attended workshops and seminars just so I will know the first things to take in setting up my enterprise.

I was glad I did, I was able to meet a lot of people who made it to the top, and some of them were way lot younger than me. They are employers already, and little by little, my mind's misgivings began to fade. I was excited with the possibilities. With my new discoveries, I could take the reins of my life, own a business, and employ a lot of people! I became uplifted and I realized that this had been with me all along. When I was a kid I had dreamed of becoming a boss at a very young age. Very cocky right? But I wasn't thinking of ruling over people at that time, I just thought it would be fun to achieve a lot of things whilst still very young...

First step, change your mindset. Remove gossips, negativity, remove idle talks, useless and nonsensical jibber jabber. Go with people who have the same drive as you. Talk to them, apply what you learned from the people you respected.

Second Step, Be with the people who have the same goals as you. Change your environment, be with the people who could inspire you and advice you on your endeavors. People who do not have the same mindset as yours will always discourage or mock you. So limit your time with them.

Third, act on your dreams. Even little by little, act on it. Wake up with a list of to do's. And begin and end your day with a prayer. Accomplish everything as much as you can.

And always pray. Discouragement always come to you, only when you rely on your own efforts.

My journey is just beginning... :)

amy winehouse dead

Amy winehouse was found dead at her London home at the age of 27.
She is a troubled Grammy Award winner musician who is very talented.

And here's the news of how Amy Winehouse was found dead.



"Police were called by London Ambulance Service to an address in Camden Square NW1 shortly before 16.05hrs today, Saturday 23 July, following reports of a woman found deceased. On arrival officers found the body of a 27-year-old female who was pronounced dead at the scene. Enquiries continue into the circumstances of the death. At this early stage it is being treated as unexplained."

Pretty creepy... another musician died at 27 years of age, what is in the number of 27 for musicians? Is that an honorary way of passing away to be a music legend? Think about Jimi Hendrix and Curt Cobain who also died at the age of 27.

The Beauty of Silence

I am in bed for days, and was advised to get some rest. My former sickness have been plaguing me and my only companion is my laptop to help me look into the window of the world through the internet. Not much of a comfort really, because I get a lot of ideas in my head that made me want to execute it already.

My body feels sudden gushes of chills, and at times I couldn't control my hand muscles. I originally would have wanted to draw while recuperating, but I found it impossible to hold a pencil to make straight lines.

I am a little depressed because instead of being up and about as I was scheduled, I had to patiently rest for a while (which seemed like an eternity) because my fever doesn't seem to wane, I stay in my bed, looking at the ceiling.... fearing that the world goes by without me.

But then it hit me... in my solitude and varied train of thoughts... I began to appreciate the beauty of silence. I think this is the time when all of your being revisits you again.

You get the chance to ponder on your dreams... you sort out which is important and which is secondary in your priorities. You go back to your starting point, and slowly, you see the YOU again. Untarnished by the nagging harshness of reality. Not polluted by other people's influences. You see you... you're pure identity.

Yes... that is what happened to me during this period. And with a new strong resolve, I wanted to recreate my goals... the original ones that up until now have kept my determination going.

Every now and then I am delighted that I get the chance to fan the flames of my dreams, because as I saw it in my generation, there are only few people now who dare to pursue their goals. It is a sad reality, but it is a hard road to travel as many people will come along to discourage you.

I am revisiting my old thoughts again. My old journals have helped me recognize the real me. I am happy to have met me from fifteen years ago...seeing her again in my old yellow-leafed journals that I kept made me laugh again. Her innocent and daring challenge to the world was honest and strong... I wish I was that again. I had been that... but unfortunately I let things burst my bubbles. But it's okay. With a new set of lessons in my hands, and the former me reunited in my soul... I think I can start anew again. Ready to take whole new challenges from this world.

PSALM 27:8 "Your face, LORD, I will seek."

Discernment: A new strength of purpose

Yeah, a lot of things happen. You get to know a lot of people that doesn't seem to fit in your mission in life, yet they are there.

Sometimes you get to question why they even existed... but why don't we stop for a while and ask ourselves if we ever were the people that we are supposed to be?

I often find myself irritated with other people for being this and being that... but to what point? It is a total waste of time. Now that I am older, I realized that it's me I have to change... that I can never change anyone other than myself. That feeling made me feel freedom.

I now live a life of finding answers and as much as I can, try to live to my ideals. And sadly, I encountered a lot of people who wanted to curb me to their own idea of what life should be for people. At times, I get discouraged... who wouldn't be? Because almost all people have told me to live a life like theirs. After all I am only a human being who do not have anything to hold on to, except my instincts and I guess, discernment and my sometimes wavering faith.

Life offers a lot of confusion... you make good and bad choices as you journey through life. Yet it is comforting to know that God will make straight the crooked lines that we make.

We make mistakes... but God did not make a mistake when He created each one of us!

And so, I now have something to look forward to. I can't afford to be misled by other people's principles... because their lot in life is not mine. As Fr. Armand Robleza SDB said in one of his seminars which I recently attended:

"Each one has a unique personal vocation, no two of us hear exactly the same call from the Lord"

I found new hope with what he said. That was embedded deep in my soul. For I know that God has called me in a different journey. Others turned left, while I turned right... there's no right or wrong. God loves me the same... because He created me with freedom and has given me dignity.

Anyhow, everyone deserves respect for the path they had chosen. They are perfect in God's eyes. They make mistakes, but God patiently awaits with a loving heart the children he created. For God's only fault is that He cannot not love.

I think I will listen to my heart more and be open to God's gentle guidance. Only then will I know what will truly make me happy rather than to listen to what others say could make me happy.

With a new strength of purpose, I am ready to face my tomorrows with new excitement and anticipation! ^_^