The Beauty of Silence

I am in bed for days, and was advised to get some rest. My former sickness have been plaguing me and my only companion is my laptop to help me look into the window of the world through the internet. Not much of a comfort really, because I get a lot of ideas in my head that made me want to execute it already.

My body feels sudden gushes of chills, and at times I couldn't control my hand muscles. I originally would have wanted to draw while recuperating, but I found it impossible to hold a pencil to make straight lines.

I am a little depressed because instead of being up and about as I was scheduled, I had to patiently rest for a while (which seemed like an eternity) because my fever doesn't seem to wane, I stay in my bed, looking at the ceiling.... fearing that the world goes by without me.

But then it hit me... in my solitude and varied train of thoughts... I began to appreciate the beauty of silence. I think this is the time when all of your being revisits you again.

You get the chance to ponder on your dreams... you sort out which is important and which is secondary in your priorities. You go back to your starting point, and slowly, you see the YOU again. Untarnished by the nagging harshness of reality. Not polluted by other people's influences. You see you... you're pure identity.

Yes... that is what happened to me during this period. And with a new strong resolve, I wanted to recreate my goals... the original ones that up until now have kept my determination going.

Every now and then I am delighted that I get the chance to fan the flames of my dreams, because as I saw it in my generation, there are only few people now who dare to pursue their goals. It is a sad reality, but it is a hard road to travel as many people will come along to discourage you.

I am revisiting my old thoughts again. My old journals have helped me recognize the real me. I am happy to have met me from fifteen years ago...seeing her again in my old yellow-leafed journals that I kept made me laugh again. Her innocent and daring challenge to the world was honest and strong... I wish I was that again. I had been that... but unfortunately I let things burst my bubbles. But it's okay. With a new set of lessons in my hands, and the former me reunited in my soul... I think I can start anew again. Ready to take whole new challenges from this world.

PSALM 27:8 "Your face, LORD, I will seek."