My Birthday thoughts for 2012: Be my Creator's Creation!

I had been the happiest since last year. It's nothing ordinary--- albeit, not really new. I have found something more worthwhile and fulfilling at this time of year and I really learned a lot about myself.

There is really no competition with other people in this world, you must learn to listen to the beat of your heart aching for your dream. And I have to understand that no one could understand my love for my dreams because they do not own it. I have now come to terms with that, and listening to your dreams is equivalent to listening to the call of God who made you.

in a year, I have also learned to love myself a lot-- not because I am narcissistic, but because I now know my identity as an individual. I have decided on that, and I have my Creator back me up on that :P! It still surprises me how I can go beyond what I have done in the past, and how I can constantly change and improve myself.

Because of my self love, I have learned to look at the beauty in others---- everyone, they all have their own strength and uniqueness, and that made me grateful each and everyday when I interact with other people because of their awesomeness. To see gifted people push their capacities, I also feel driven--- because of them, I strive to try harder too. I want to master myself and produce the best out of my talents which God intended me to make.

I have my own personal problems too. And it is not always a very sunny world for me, loneliness creeps in specially when you try hard to reach out to be the best--- because at the back of your mind, there's this temptation which always nag at you-- things like: "Why complicate your life? Everyone slacks off, enjoy life, life is short," but then again, you only end up in regret, feeling left behind and a failure when you give in.

Difficulties and obstacles are the things that make a person bigger than himself---- so it's not something one should shun, rather, it is something one should embrace and get lessons from. And never blame other people-- when you do, you give them power over you, not you controlling your own life.

These days, I constantly falter and fall. It goes without saying that I feel lonely and sad, but I still have my undying hope, that one day, I can also be a light which shines brightly on my own. A light which I did not copy from anyone, but a light which my Creator has given only to me.. I am excited to meet God's expectations, because that will be the most awesome thing that could ever happen to someone.

From now on, I make it a point to ask myself if what I do is what I must do at a particular moment, which will be beneficial to my future tasks... I can't afford to lose anymore time. I felt I had given in to too much laziness in the past, and I needed to do it right this time without wasting any moment.

I will be careful from now on with my actions and words. I plan to collect my thoughts,  do my best in all areas of my life. Study in my field so that I can do better and be the best that I can be--- and be at PEACE with myself as I was often assured in my solitary reflections.

I am sure--- God wants to lead me to a place where He wants me to be--- so I need to be responsible, work hard, and do my part in reaching my goals. 2012! Awesome year for me--- this is a year for productivity!

I don't know how to end this entry--- but I leave this blog with a smile and full of hope for a brighter future!

:)

God, and the dream He has for me

Today’s reading is about the disciples, after the death of Christ, have become fearful and became scared in spreading the good news and they have gathered in one place to avoid being persecuted for their faith.
Nowadays, Christians have forgotten to follow Christ bravely. They’d go with the flow, pretend they didn’t know, or act cool even though they are going against their Christian faith just so they will not be laughed at. I am guilty of that.
Being a Christian does not mean to be popular or to please everyone. It means to stand for the truth, for the good news, and be the custodian of the truth that Jesus wants us to impart to others.
The challenge for me this year, is to be a blazing light that represents the true meaning of Christianity. Not a judgmental witness, but a welcoming witness who shows Christ through actions and conviction.
I am on my next set of adventure since my birthday is coming up, I am determined to live my life to the fullest at this stage. Because I feel that if I become too lazy, I will not be able to meet the person I am supposed to be, the person God planned me to become. I have decided to fit the shirt that God made for me, and I want every part of me to respond to God’s call. It will never be easy--- but it will all be worth it. Loneliness will play a big role in accompanying me while I trek my journey, but I will always remember that after everything is through, I want to meet God who smiles proudly at me and say “Well done my good and faithful servant!”--- yeah for me, that is the coolest.
Right now, it’s a little lonely--- but it’s lonelier to belong in a crowd where people do not really understand the calling of God. I want to trek my difficult and lonely road--- because at the end of it all--- it will all be worth the sorrow.
I thank God for all the miracles that came my way, and I thank God for the Dreams HE has for me.