First, I know I haven't written for a very long time, been so busy I guess.
How long was it? Oh yeah, I guess the last was on my birthday. I wrote a lot of high hopes and dreams in my last entry--- and how am I faring now?
Well, first of all, I and my sister were able to publish 4 serial books about art. We are very humbled and honored, because without God, those things will NEVER be possible. I will tell the things that happened in a different entry, but for now, allow me to have the liberty to be grateful with all the blessings.
What else?--- Oh yeah, we were also commissioned to draw for a sinology book written by a very famous Italian priest in China. It was I who suggested the pen and ink style so that it will go with the book's theme. I remembered that I couldn't thank God enough for the opportunity.
I have a lot of things to be thankful about, that until now, I am still in awe at everything that happened and things which are happening. I have been surrounded by a lot of awesome people all the time. That alone is one of the most special gift.
And now, I am going to embark on a new journey. I don't know what God sees in me, that He is making me do something which is beyond me (I think). But God has a lot of awesome things in store for me, I know that--- and every time He makes me do things, I am always blown away.
You may think dear reader, that I am such a presumptuous person to ever think that. But I have valid reasons to think this way... take note that I am not saying that I am cut above the rest... on the contrary, I came to realize that each person have their own special mission in life which are so great in their own way. And thinking about God's great providence through these people humbled me very much.
And now, here I am, telling God that I am tired--- why are some people enjoying life when I wasn't?
Why should I suffer when I do nothing wrong (or so I thought) why is it that I think I am being punished?
I felt so frustrated and felt God was unfair, and then the answer came to me this Sunday. I was playing the Prodigal Son drama---not the youngest child, but the eldest child who was such a diva when his brother, the wayward came home.
It came in the form of Fr. Armand Robleza's homily. He just had an operation on the heart and his gall stones, and had one of his brothers died a month ago. But still, he was driven and passionate about pasturing the sheep in the Don Bosco Parish. He was having short breaths while he was talking, and his face was grey and ashen. I felt scared for him, but at the same time, I knew God was showing me a man who clearly wasn't doing anything wrong, but was embracing every trial God sends him with a cheerful heart. And through that, I was once again humbled---- because compared to this man of God, who am I to think that I already sacrificed so much? When in fact--- I am nothing compared to the priest who passionately serves his people even though he clearly wasn't feeling well.
He said in his homily, that in marriage, the attitude should be that the spouse should be ready to give all of himself to his spouse, because that is what Jesus did for the people. I am a Christian--- and I have given myself to Christ in baptism, and every time I affirm my baptismal vows on Easter. And because of that, I should be ready to give myself to what makes Jesus happy.
With that, I went home. My diva days, I knew, are numbered. From now on, I will give more of myself for others.... the people who was the reason Jesus came to earth and be crucified. Why? Because I have decided to love Him--- and to love Him means, to make Him happy, and to make Him happy, is to follow Him by doing what He did when He was on earth.
The call was, to reflect Christ---- it is scary. I know from now on, my life will never be easy---but who said it would be easy??? No one did! But all of them, who trekked the road to follow Jesus, revealed that it was all worth it!
Thank God for these holy people, thank God for these self sacrificing people, because if not for them,, this world, in a split second, will stop. Because people suddenly decide that they will no longer want to sacrifice their lives for others. Scary isn't it?
Anyway, this is such a beautiful day for me.... my soul was nourished. And once again, I was put to shame because of my selfishness. It's the saints, and the people like the priests in the parish, or the lay people who sacrifice their lives for others who are my heroes. They make me want to become a better person.
Thank you Lord for that. About me being here, I know, is not an accident.
Forgive my grammatical errors---- will fix it in the morning. I am sleepy now, but didn't want to put this off till tomorrow.
Goodnight!
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