I was scheduled to go out of town this weekend for my birthday celebration with friends... but my former employer called me up to shoot a wedding. Arghhhh! The very thing I was running away from is running after me... but I need to face my fears. The challenge won't wait for me forever... I need to pull myself together.
Shooting weddings have given me a traumatic experience as I have not been able to go home with nice shots... I know I had good shots, but not as good and awesome as the people I was with. Anyhow... I can't live in fear forever. I must be brave to face them. I don't know... I thought I had come to terms with my fears and incompetence when it comes to shooting events... and i thought I was ready to take up the challenge. Why am I so helpless... and why can't I believe in myself as much as other people believe in me? This is bad... my fear of disappointing myself is stronger than I thought. This is insane!
I hope that after the vacation, I will be enthusiastic again. I need to practice more if I want to shoot the likes of Plushenko and Yagudin! ^__^ . . . I am indeed battling with myself this time... I need a project that could satisfy me...it's as if I'm looking for something that is still unknown... my search is leading me nowhere... anyways... I know soon, I'll find my rainbow... I just hope it's sooner than soon ... (sigh)
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