It's good that people believe in me... but...

I am quite impatient now. I had a meeting last night with one of my photographer friends. He taught me a lot of things and I knew that I need a lot of things to learn still. He referred me to a photographer who wants to employ me as graphic artist/ photographer at a very tempting salary. I am tempted, to be honest..and besides, his office is just 40 steps away from my house (not really...but it's so close from where I live)... It's very near than my current work... but I had to think. I can't just be a photographer if I still cannot trust myself with the skills (I might end up doubting myself forever if I continue pushing myself too far and hate photography in the end). I will help him in every possible way I can since he needs my assistance.... but as for being a full time artist for him... I have a lot of thinking to do. I need to polish my talents first. I don't want it to be another string of mediocre works! It's good that people around me believe in what I can do... but it is so hard when it's me that I have to convince. I need to think. On the other hand, I am not progressing in my artistic growth in my current job... so that's a big thing to consider too. Hmmm, it's really perplexing... I get tired too... I lose inspiration also... I am after all, just a simple person ... but with big dreams larger than life (sometimes I doubt if I could pull it off). That is what is causing my frustrations... a lot of my contemporaries have done a lot already... while I am still groping in the dark... I know in time I will have great works... I am made to think..am I hiding in my comfort zone? I don't know if this is cowardice... whatever. For now, i want to focus on my studies of Master Arts, enjoy my works...far from pressure. I want to give my full heart and passion on what I do, only through that could I reach out to people... Soon I will have to decide. After all, mom told me I didn't need to work for my keep... so that leaves me free to chase my dreams. I am in full control of my talents... it's just that I am not comfortable to have other people shoulder my expenses. For now, I will just have to make what I am about to do. I will face that decision making soon, i know... but I will have to brush it aside... can't afford to have my mind messed up as I will be having a project in two weeks time...:)